On Having Holiday Spirit When Your Partner Isn’t Into It

On Having Holiday Spirit When Your Partner Isn't Into It, a personal essay with advice and tips. #wellness #gratitude #selfcare #healthyhabits #holidays #holidayspirit #relationshipadvice

We’re in the thick of the holiday season right now and I’m absolutely loving it. Every year I just feel like this is my prime time. Come Thanksgiving, I am practically rolling in holiday spirit. I love decorating, I love spending the additional time with friends and family and love (love!!) Christmas music. Sean on the other hand, well, he’d be good if the whole season was canceled. He just doesn’t care. And I’d be lying if I said this hasn’t been a point of contention in our relationship. I mean, we don’t yell and scream about it, but every year I get excited and Sean gets slightly annoyed.

So, in the spirit of holiday joy and in lieu of a Weekend Wellness post, I decided to put this post together on having holiday spirit when your partner isn’t into it. If your relationship is anything like mine, I hope these ideas help!

How to Balance Having Holiday Spirit When Your Partner Isn’t Into It

Respect your differences

First things first — you have to respect each other. It’s easy to get in petty fights with your SO over hanging lights and decking your halls with boughs of holly. Skip all of that drama and just agree to disagree on celebrating the holidays in a big, festive way. Your partner will appreciate it and being the one to take the high road always feels good, in my opinion. For example, I know that Sean won’t want to help me decorate the tree and that’s ok.

Find small ways to get festive

Just because you’re respecting each other’s difference doesn’t mean the holidays are canceled. While you’re in talks about respect, make sure to bring up finding a middle ground. For example, instead of being completely obnoxious with your Christmas music and blasting it all day, every day, maybe wear some headphones or keep it to an agreed-upon minimum. That’s a good example of the balance we’ve found!

While you’re working on your side of things, your partner should also agree not to be a complete grinch or argue about going to a holiday party with you. In my opinion, it’s not even about the holidays, it’s about wanting your partner to get excited about something you’re really excited about. So if you can explain that to them and find some middle ground, you’re probably in for a much more enjoyable holiday season.

Talk about how each of you celebrated the holidays as kids

Knowing this kind of stuff about your partner can help explain a lot. Try to understand why they don’t enjoy the holidays. Do they just find it annoying or are there deeper issues going on? A difference in upbringing can also play a huge role here, so have this conversation with him/her. They may not want to talk about it at first, but letting them know you’d like to listen and try to understand their perspective is a good first step. Now that we’re officially wedding planning, we’re talking more and more about deeper subject matter like this. It’s all about finding that firm base upon which to build and grow your relationship.

At the end of the day, I hope that all of these tips help you and your partner find a middle ground. You should both be able to exist within your relationship while still being who you are. The holidays may be a time when you have to work just a little bit harder at your relationship, but it’s worth it to be together the other 11 months of the year.

And on that note, happy holidays!! I hope you’re celebrating with loved ones and taking in all the excitement that is the holiday season! And if you’ve struggled with this kind of thing too, I’d love to hear about your experience dealing with it in the comments.

P.S. you can find even more self care and wellness tips for the holidays here, including:

Photography by Belathée Photography from this shoot a few years back!